i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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