I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You are a genius and a whore.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
