how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
and she was petting her beer can
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
