i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
