Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Drunk is a universal language darling
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
