seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
