I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
