i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
