He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
