i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
