i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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