We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
a search helicopter?!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
