Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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