Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
True strength comes from lack of pants
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
