I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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