i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
