And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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