dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
