I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
