Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize