My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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