Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
operation have a gay friend backfired
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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