one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
