ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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