i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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