I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
