Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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