if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
