i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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