I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Your penis caused this!
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