If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
