Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
