i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
