if you like me you must not know who I am
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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