Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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