Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
