hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
