remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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