I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
