i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
