Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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