Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
