you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
