Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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