So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
