My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's always time for handjobs
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
