Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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