Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
