Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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