I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
